Trust the energy that courses
through you. Trust – then take
surrender even deeper.
Be the energy.
Don’t push anything away.
Follow each sensation back to
its source and focus your awareness
there. Be the ecstasy…
Be unafraid of consummate wonder.
Emerge so new, so vulnerable,
that you don’t know
who you are.
Be the energy,
be at peace.
Dare to be your own illumination,
And blaze a trail across
the clear night sky…
It’s like a switch has been turned from one life to another. My mind-driven life has been turned off after leaving UVic and the energy for a new body-driven life is powering up. This brings me pure pleasure and wonder.
You probably have no clue what I am talking about and I don’t blame you. There are so many words in my mind and yet it’s my body that is beginning to speak. I am discovering a new natural rhythm to the day, especially when Andrew is working. I rise with him and see him out the door (now with homemade, healthy lunches – so domestic of me!) and then I take myself out onto the sunny deck to eat my breakfast. I bask in the sun while listening to podcasts and play scrabble. When the feeling comes over me to move, I take myself upstairs and lay prone on the floor with my wonderful supports to move through a meditation class and/or guided meditation, most often by Tara Brach (I want to add the word “wonderful” to everything, including Tara!).
It is these mornings that have switched everything for me (well, not having to work contributed). I have lots to worry about (real estate, packing, relocating, financial organization, etc.) and yet awakening to the day in this mindful way, I am no longer driven by the work of worry which my mind was so used to. My life was driven by worry, and as Tara would say, my mind was my master.
I used to go to work early so as to end the day early, to rush home and be exhausted. I was “getting through” life. Oh, I am SO grateful for that work, that career, which allowed us to live a wonderful life and for me to retire early… and yet, I would and should be embarrassed if I were not embracing this retirement life fully.
The meditation sessions are helping me to feel my life rather than to think my life. I hope to bring this into my artwork as well but I’m not there yet. And that’s okay! For now.
More to come… I may start using this as a diary of sorts… we’ll see.
I’d love to know your feelings AND thoughts about this! (Comments opened)